I could do much better now. Browse the self-help section of any bookstore or library, and you will likely find a sea of books about creating and maintaining a harmonious and healthy family life. This is where families can get confused. Posted at 07:00h in Leadership, Personal Development by Billy Epperhart 3 Comments. You don’t need compassion for that. Ultimately, God wants us to have spiritually healthy families so we can produce godly offspring and expand His family. A strong primary relationship between parents gives the children a sense of security and enables them to develop strong self-images and to reach out to others. The family is in trouble because some husbands and wives are more preoccupied with their careers then they are with their own family’s needs and because parents are not disciplining their children. Families that work together and play together are healthier than those who don’t. Showing sincere appreciation for one another. Husbands and wives who are committed to the marriage have found a major way of keeping the marriage going. “When we treat others, especially our family members, as we would hope and want to be treated, then we can achieve the fruits of a high-functioning family,” Mr. Register says. “Many times life doesn’t go as smoothly as you’d like, and it’s commitment that helps carry you through these tough times,” adds Cecil Maranville, a writer in the Personal Correspondence Department for COGWA. So what are the characteristics of healthy families? Kids and parents butt heads. They talk things out without attacking each other personally, while still addressing the issues. When left unexamined and unresolved, these family traits can pass from generation to generation. It also helps build confidence within a person, so we have the wherewithal to meet obstacles that are inevitably going to come our way.”. Some of the characteristics of a strong family are: Here are some of the most vital characteristics of healthy families, from a biblical perspective: Members of strong families have difficulties, disagreements, trials and troubles just as everyone else does. A wife may go camping with her husband, even though it’s not her idea of a fun time. Would you prefer to pass when there are get togethers? “Their example helped me know that they were human and also taught me to apologize and forgive.”. 0. As they see that positive example on a daily basis, it will encourage the entire family to have that same spiritual commitment. Learning and playing music is healthy, even when it’s loud. Acceptance does not mean that any behavior is tolerated, far from it. First, realize that most families have some healthy and some unhealthy traits, and no family is perfect. So, children who had their parents play with them and read to them when they were little but received less guidance and involvement from their parents as they got older, may feel lost and less values. They have a reason to work at their relationships and are more likely to stay together. When you understand what a well-functioning family unit looks like, you’ll know what changes you may need to make in your own household. Healthy families are attuned to each other’s needs. When offenses occur in healthy families, bad feelings are not allowed to fester. When individuals practice self-control, then acting on the points above is possible. Healthy family relations can help intensify emotional intimacy which in turn can foster feelings of empathy and compassion in kids. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter. One of the best ways to strengthen your family is by studying the common traits and qualities shared by successful families. A family's social support is one of the main ways that family positively impacts health. Before speaking, they think about whether they would want to be on the receiving end of what they’re about to say. I, for example, loved the baby and toddler stage and was less good with setting boundaries for adolescents. That means not interrupting, not arguing, not putting each other down. Compassion may mean understanding, helping and supporting as much as possible, as well as including other members of the family in decision making about issues that involve everyone. Sometimes this means sacrificing personal desires in order to encourage or support another person. Communicating in a way that’s constructive. Healthy families have parents who spend time with their children both inside and outside of the home and encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities, including sports and social events. “As the Scriptures instruct us (Deuteronomy 6:7), the best time spent together is everyday casual time, without distractions like TV, music headphones, video games and smart phones,” notes David Register, pastor of COGWA’s Redding, Sacramento and Stockton, California, congregations. You may also want to study biblically based educational materials on marriage and family topics (see the “Relationships” section of the Life, Hope & Truth website). “My parents would occasionally come to me and let me know they were sorry for something they did or said,” he recalls. But here’s the bottom line. Good intentions turn to enabling and codependence that hurt other members of the family. These same sentiments can be expressed by leaving notes somewhere for family members to find, such as in their lunch boxes, or even sending text messages. Your family may well be one of them, but if you’re reading this you probably have questions like the ones above and want your family to be healthier. Done sincerely, expressions of love and appreciation deepen the bond between family members and strengthen the family unit. Communicating in a way that’s constructive. When family members put other family members above themselves then honor comes to the entire family. You might ask yourself if a family can be healthy when everyone is at odds with each other. If your family allows you to express yourself and is able to listen without judging, you have a healthy communication. If there are particular issues affecting the family, they may plan special family meetings to discuss them. We’ve been talking in the Christmas season about a healthy family. Rather than let hard times destroy them or their relationships, strong families work together to correct problems. The offender is willing to apologize and take responsibility for his or her mistakes. It’s all about personal feelings, growth and independence. © VIEWS. Each child has his own temperament, his own way of viewing and interacting with the world around him. Looking out for one another. Love and compassion are valuable when they are implemented in a healthy family dynamic. You may not believe family harmony is possible. What matters most is that you are striving to have good family relationships. Resolving conflicts quickly and promptly. If your family doesn’t allow you to express your feelings, your experiences or your needs, healthy communication isn’t happening. These coping skills can be in these 5 areas: All of these are healthy family characteristics. Listening (not just hearing) to what is being said is a basic skill. Family closeness (I versus we balance) 4. Tell your spouse and children what qualities you most value in them. The challenges that come from every corner of society to attack the family are many. THIS MORNING, I AM … No human being will be a perfect parent, spouse, son, daughter or sibling. Look over them again. Conflicts are resolved quickly. “When individual family members learn to love God, respect His laws and biblical instructions, they will be close,” Mr. Register says. 2.5k. A husband may forgo what he’d like to do on his day off to make his kids happy. Some families are guided by stern moral principles; others are easy-going and accepting. Say “I love you” often. 2. Effective problem-solving skills (negotiation & consensus) 6. Here are four essential traits of a healthy family dynamic. Healthy Family News ... 5 Characteristics of a Healthy Family: Part 5. by admin. This is what it looks like to be in a dysfunctional family: 1. Healthy families do their best to live by this “Golden Rule.” Individuals in the family consider how others will be affected when making important decisions. 375 24. They know that time spent together is crucial – and that it builds and strengthens family bonds. The family is where you put down your first roots, where you form your most lasting impressions, where you put together the building blocks of your character, and where you determine whether you will view life through the eyes of prejudice or acceptance. A strong family can be a source of emotional support, love, security and protection, which makes the challenges and trials of day-to-day living easier to face. 3. Issues can be addressed when everyone has the right to speak, and everyone has the obligation to listen and try to understand. What kind of family do you have? source. Still, healthy families always find time to be together, no matter how busy they think they are. Marriage is thought to protect well-being by providing companionship, emotional support, and economic security. * Members are encouraged to grow and develop as individuals and members of the family. Making family time a top priority. Definition of Dysfunctional Family. Never miss a post! I explained that the traditional family unit is in trouble. Pick out one or two ideas and write out a simple plan of action that each family member can sign. CHARACTERISTICS OF . But appreciation shouldn’t be limited to thanking others for what they do for you. Showing sincere appreciation for one another. check out Al-anon for help with addiction. Healthy families spend this time being together, enjoying a meal and talking about what is going on in each of their individual lives. Being committed to God’s way of life gives healthy families a sense of purpose and adds meaning to their lives. While you may not mean to, there may be times when you offend those closest to you or hurt their feelings. In other words, make regular time for face-to-face conversations with each other. Some characteristics of a healthy family are: 1) There are clear boundaries in the family. What about doubting that there is even such a thing as a healthy family? Healthy families engage in positive and meaningful communication. Studies have shown that parents who do activities with their kids bonds them both on an individual level and on the family level. A STRONG & HEALTHY FAMILY (PART 2) INTRODUCTION: 1. Characteristics of a healthy family include: Having a deep commitment to one another. Family is where you learn how to share, how to relate, and how to treat other people. Their lives get frantic. If your younger kids see you studying your Bible, serving others and obeying God’s commands, and if you talk about God’s way of life as you go through your day-to-day activities together, they will know that God is your top priority. Healthy families aren’t a myth – they really do exist. They are able to put trials and difficulties into perspective and maintain the right focus. It is no secret that dysfunctional relationships and a chaotic family life are major contributors to social problems including juvenile delinquency, domestic abuse, and addiction. Some are spiritual and some are not. This might be done by telling your spouse how much you enjoyed the dinner he or she prepared, or by saying “thank you” to your children after they cleaned the kitchen. Just think about the many personalities and roles that family members play. Billie Eilish is first woman to win all... What Does Arguing With A Narcissist Sound Like, Self-Esteem Journal Prompt: 3 Qualities You Love, Sobriety Journal Prompt: Your Recovery Enabler, Mental Health Journal Prompt: Achievements, Family Quote: Building A Harmonious Family, What Leads To Suicide And How You Can Help, Coach’s Corner: Don’t Give Up/Staying Inspired, My Family Is Hurting What Can I Do, 8 Cs Coloring Book, Find Your True Colors In 12 Steps Expanded Edition, 100 Tips For Growing Up My 20 Years of Recovery, How To Be Single, Sober And Happy On The Holidays. Characteristics of Healthy Families 09/ 06/ 2016 • Commitment. Yours probably have strong opinions and strong wills, which may not be a comfortable fit for your personality or beliefs. Open communication – Healthy families communicate effectively with each other. So far we’ve covered the first two things that make a family healthy, and today we’ll jump into the third. They struggle to make ends meet. Members of strong families spend a lot of time engaged in conversation with each other. Understanding the traits of healthy families is the first small step. Brainstorm ways to strengthen a certain trait in your family. 5 Characteristics of a Healthy Family: Quality Time. Becky Sweat is a member of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association. The bible teaches that pride comes before destruction, and before honor comes humility. Mr. Register remembers this very constructive practice from his childhood. For a family to communicate at the highest level, family members must also be respectful of each other. Acceptance looks like this: If dad or mom is a great athlete and the kids are not interested or not gifted, they will still be loved, cherished and encouraged for the qualities they do have. Most of us can readily see the value of close family connections and healthy family dynamics. Communication and respect then start to wane, mistrust builds, and family camaraderie disappears. Not all parents have equal skill sets for children at every age. From the July/August 2016 issue of Discern Magazine. Of course, to truly be a spiritually committed family, “parents must set the pace and reflect their commitment to God in their personal lives,” Mr. Giese says. While each of these qualities of strong, healthy families is vital in and of itself, they all overlap, interact and reinforce each other. Satir's first family system characteristic of healthy families is commu- nication (Satir, 1967). www.billyepperhart.com. Man accused of stabbing mother to death at Omaha pharmacy battles … Commitment to the Family. Misunderstandings are a normal part of family life. How Should a Christian Deal With the Coronavirus Pandemic? Discuss one or more of the characteristics of healthy families with your spouse, or better yet, with your whole family. They recognize their responsibility is to train and to teach their children. But if the parties do not make amends with each other, they can lead to bitterness and grudges on both sides. Are you eager to go home and be with your family members? (1) Marriage in particular has been studied in the way it affects health. Sign up to receive the week's latest articles, blog posts and updates. It is important that all family members are committed to the family and to each other. “This is the kind of commitment that has you still loving your spouse or honoring your parents, when, from a human perspective, you could come up with reasons not to do these things.”. Having love and compassion and acceptance does not mean letting someone rule the emotional life of the whole family. Polarities of Healthy Every group of people--even a family--needs a leader. Belonging to a loving, secure family unit is a basic human desire. 5 Characteristics of Healthy Families: Faith: A relationship with God that is strong is a foundation to everything that comes next, love, kindness, loyalty,... Love: this comes from above! One example might be respecting your children’s choices for hobbies and interests, even when they want to become famous musicians and are dreaming of a drum set to play at home. Would you prefer to pass when there are get togethers? Last week, I started a series on the family. Are you struggling to heal from narcissistic abuse? In healthy families all members of the family are valued, and each is validated for the unique qualities he brings. These … Healthy families also work at developing constructive communication skills. Eating meals together, being involved in the kids’ school and after-school events, taking the children to work to show them what the jobs are like, having friends visit, visiting with other relatives, and doing leisure activities such playing Pokemon Go, taking walks together, or playing board games are invaluable for healthy living. Mom's Health. Here are some vital signs that can help in having a happy cum healthy family: Communication. Communication among family members modifies and is modified by individual levels of maturity, awareness, and self-es- teem. Understanding the ingredients to a healthy family are critical to succeed at what … Okay, you can see the themes here. A strong family can withstand all adversities. That includes being willing to apologize. Much of their communication occurs while they are spending time together. Let family members know how special they are. God is love and the source of all love. If we want to have happy homes, we have to work hard to create them. It will take determination, commitment and effort on your part. They know that time spent together is crucial. August 4, 2020. in Videos. LIKE WHAT YOU'RE READING?subscribe to our top stories. “When we spend quality time together as a family, we express by our actions that we value and care about each other,” Mr. Giese says. Can your family members tolerate different lifestyles and opinions. *Parents take the leadership role. “Their relationship is not based on ‘ifs’ or changing circumstances,” observes Ken Giese, pastor of the Fort Worth, Texas, congregation of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association (COGWA), which sponsors this website. They get laid-off and can’t find a new job. On this episode, Billy covers the fifth attribute: Supplies a Protected Harbor. source 5 Characteristics of a Healthy Family: Part 4 - Healthy Family News This includes learning to be open and honest, but still speaking in a loving manner (Ephesians 4:15)—focusing on the kind of conversation that builds others up rather than the type that tears them down (Ephesians 4:29); listening carefully, without distractions; and not “mind-reading” or jumping to false conclusions when another person is speaking. Addiction complicates behavior in all families. Praise their strengths and accomplishments. Then discussions can occur in a calm environment. The vulnerable family needs acceptance and love, but doesn’t have to become the center of attention in the family. If your family falls short in any of these areas, don’t despair. This paper presents an encapsulation of research literature delineating characteristics of healthy families and offers them as a brief model of family systems with elevated social interest. The characteristics of healthy families as a model of systemic social interest Listed below are some of the most common characteristics of healthy families. Certainly, God wants our families to succeed and prosper. Suggestions for good communication within the family include: ... celebrating festivals or family functions together and the list of family characteristics goes on. Print subscriptions available in U.S., Canada and Europe, Article URL: https://lifehopeandtruth.com/relationships/family/7-characteristics-of-healthy-families/, Four Keys to Building a Strong Blended Family. In a healthy family, the spouses complement each other and work together for the good of the whole. Do your family expectations make you feel resentful and sad? 5 Characteristics of a Healthy Family: Family Members are Valued. Social relationships, such as those found in close families, have been demonstrated to decrease the likelihood of the onset of chronic disease, disability, mental illness, and death. Jesus Christ taught His followers: “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them” (Matthew 7:12). Democratic parental power 3. Self-control. And ultimately, God wants us to have spiritually healthy families so we can produce godly offspring (Malachi 2:15) and expand His family. Dysfunctional or narcissistic families cause lasting damage. *Parents take the leadership role. When there is a sick member of the family, like a person with substance use disorder, however, the balance is always disrupted. Family is where you learn how to interpret your surroundings correctly. It is where yo… This makes family members feel more connected to each other and helps build and strengthen family bonds. We also get your email address to automatically create an account for you in our website. Feelings matter. With young chil-dren, be sure to talk on their level so they will understand. Characteristics of a Healthy Family Relationship Good Communication. 2. Sharing your life with a happy healthy family is for many of us, one of our most important goals. Children flourish when they feel loved, nurtured and supported by their parents and siblings. Six qualities that researchers have identified as indicators of a strong family: Appreciation and affection - they help each other, keep promises, and show affection to each other. No subject is considered off-limits. You may find new ideas for a healthier family. Healthy, happy, productive families don’t just happen. Family is where you learn to laugh and where you are allowed to weep without losing respect. According to the … 548. Resolving conflicts quickly and promptly. Healthy families pray for one another, encourage each other with scriptures, and encourage each other in their walk with God. In families, the leaders are the parents. admin Trending. Because life is not always easy or simple, a family needs both individual and family coping skills to use during difficult times. Or can you comfortably go your own way? Once your account is created, you'll be logged-in to this account. But in the end you will have a healthy family—and that is definitely something worth working for. Healthy families accept each other’s differences. Parents become the role models for kids by being respectful to each … He designed the family to be the basic building block of society; thus in order for our communities to be stable, the families that comprise them must be as well. Dysfunctional families have several characteristics in common, which showcase the unfortunate dynamics between family members, and their attitude towards each other. www.billyepperhart.com. Characteristics of a Strong Family. Her other specialties include grief and trauma, women’s issues, chronic pain management, holistic healing, GLBTQ concerns, and spirituality and transpersonal psychology. A good family life can even have positive effects on your physical and mental health, including improving blood pressure and increasing life expectancy. You may find your family in the middle. Open sharing of feelings (warmth, humor & mutual concern) 7. This also means you may hate a loved one’s views, or style of dress, or believes, but you won’t beat him or her up for them. “The real key to building relationships is to spend time together in all types of circumstances, including mundane, daily activities.”. Between long workweeks, school activities and household chores, family time can be hard to come by. It’s easy to love and support someone who’s doing well and seems oh so all right. August 21, 2017 PAL 0 Opinions Parent Support. Plan family meetings to discuss areas that need to be addressed. To sum up the traits of a healthy family you should have: pleasure in being together, open and honest communication, clear boundaries, mutual respect, trust, support, encouragement, and unity through relationship with God. All rights reserved. To be a truly successful family, Mr. Maranville says it is vital not only to feel appreciation, but also to express it: “Appreciation helps motivate family members to continue to behave in a positive way toward each other. Healthy communication also includes being able to tell the truth without someone breaking into a rant or a rage. Appreciation should be expressed frequently, both verbally and with meaningful gestures. But while family relationships are important, we all know strong families don’t “just happen.” Sustaining a marriage and raising children are challenging things to do. What about keeping secrets from each other, can that happen in healthy families? Strong marriage (shared power, intimacy & cooperation) 2. Actually, those who come from seemingly perfect families that have never suffered from difficulties or imperfections, have trouble adjusting to an imperfect, unhealthy world. Families gain from open two-way communication that is understanding, loving, and patient. *There is a strong bond between the husband and wife. Some characteristics of a healthy family are: 1) There are clear boundaries in the family. With physical health, including mundane, daily activities. ” a myth – they really do exist to interpret surroundings. Parents and siblings that positive example on a daily basis, it will encourage the entire family life... 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